They fought all the time and sometimes so violently that once she went home with a black eye and a split lip.
At that time eileena was taking the wrong path, only her pride prevented her to slit her wrists with phobic, only pride.
In high school she started smoking, just so that she could feel something. She felt empty and non-existent, but she felt cool, only with alcohol, just that she was a fool.
Ayrat was a few years older than her, he had a family that was falling apart behind, while she was lost in spite of the strict rules imposed by her mother.
They became best friends in the summer of the second year of high school. They met in a tavern in the middle of the street, alone at the bar for a beer.
That day looked different than usual to her, and saw the esteem and respect in his eyes which was different, maybe it was not done.
They became friends and together they cleaned up, left the baggage of old friends and started an adventure of their own.
Sometimes they drank but did not go over with it and never smoke with strangers. Those were the happiest years for them.
She realized she had become like the queen of the world and imitated in front of the mirror every night, while Ayrat thought he can have the best girlfriend in the world, but a little weird.
After high school they decided to enroll together in the college, where she was a dancer while ayrat sang and they decided to put joint performances to earn some extra money. The people applauded their performance, studies were going great, they had everything, freedom, and when you have that you have everything.
It was January, and they had to go to a rock festival, where it was decided he would come to pick eileena up in his car, and then they would leave.
But that afternoon he did not come. She went to her bedroom to call him, where she had forgotten the phone, and she saw 38 missed calls in 10 mins! She wondered what was going on.
He suffered a car accident and passed away from her. Ayrat was dead, his body was unrecognizable, with her face becoming pale.
She cried in agony of her lifetime, and watched the funeral from afar, convinced that he was alone again, alone and unable. She had written a poem in his charge to be read at the funeral but could not even get close to the coffin, for she could not look into his eyes of his desperate mother.
She stopped singing for two years, did not speak with anyone in the college, and broke every relationship and just stood alone for a while.
That unsaid poem became the anthem of their love. The poetry recited something like “you're my autumn, you make me feel alive, as you feel the warm skin under the sun''.
For years now she cried more and more for his death because she did not like to live, she had attempted suicide a thousand times, she was thrown into the sea from heights hallucinating, she would not have wanted.
She was born to die, she did not feel anything like him, and as they passed along any obstacle, she did not feel quite alive, maybe that incident she wanted him, maybe he was left to die.
Eileena knew that dying would not end their love; she knew that he would become the sun that warms her face in the summer.
She was unpredictable; it was too much even for herself. Whenever she sings the poem she feels he is on my side.
Today she is wearing a red dress, with unattended free hairs, as she goes on her way, where Ayrat lead the way, who she believes will protect her life.